The Treasure in Our Family History: Finding Meaning in Our Roots

As a therapist, I believe that people don’t just have here-and-now issues. Everyone has a past, and it informs our present-day relationships. This is a notion I take to heart, one that has inspired me to explore my own family history. 

Discovering a Family History Through Letters

Years ago when my grandmother died, her fancy family heirlooms were wanted first. An antique diamond ring for my aunt; a silver collection for my mother. I could see the appeal of sparkly treasures, but I knew exactly what belonged to her that I wanted for me: her cedar chest. I had an idea of its content because I’d seen it before: black and white family photos, ribbon-bound stacks of letters, newspaper clippings. No one else was terribly interested in any of it. In fact, I was told to throw away the letters! But I couldn’t. To discard my grandmother’s story seemed impossible, and so I’m telling it.

An entire family history, documented in near-daily letter correspondence, had been waiting to be discovered. In 1956, my grandmother was living with her parents in Miami, FL, raising three young sons. Newly widowed, she started a relationship with a sailor stationed abroad. They wrote to each other constantly, and in doing so dealt with various issues including grief, parenting, and religion. 

Though this story happened long ago, I’ve come to realize that not much about relationships has changed! My grandmother’s romance was complex, it was difficult, and it was real. Learning about her life has taught me a thing or two about mine. Lately, it’s served as a powerful example of persistence during tough times.

Self-Discovery Through the Lens of the Past

This experience has cemented my understanding of something I already knew—the importance of exploring family history. In doing so, we can gain a better understanding of ourselves and our relationships. And therapy can be a great place to start this journey of self-discovery.

So, I encourage you to consider how your family history may help you better understand yourself. What patterns or themes are present? How are your challenges similar to those who walked the earth before you? How are they different? Lessons can be learned, if you’re open to discovering them.

If you’re interested in diving into your own family history and the ways this impacts you today, consider reaching out for an initial consultation to begin your own mindful and introspective therapy journey.