This is 40

Well okay, 41, but who’s counting?! I certainly wasn’t. Life had a way of pulling me in different directions, and my attention wasn’t on family planning.

As a therapist, I’d spent years working with clients through their pain, triumphs, and transformations. In doing so, I was so focused on helping them build their lives that somewhere along the way, I forgot to make one of my own.

And then, everything changed.

My husband and I decided to pursue IVF, a journey filled with hope and uncertainty. It was a decision we didn’t take lightly, knowing that parenthood in middle age would come with its own unique challenges. But here we are— 11 months into this life-altering experience with our sweet son.

A Shift in Perspective

Motherhood at this stage has brought a fresh perspective. In younger years, I was dedicated to my work, finding purpose in helping others figure out their lives. Now, I bring that same care into my own experiences, and what it means to be in this role.

The Challenge of Letting Go

One of the hardest lessons I learned this past year is that I cannot do it all. In my profession, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-sacrifice, of putting others first because it feels like the right thing to do. But now, with my son in my arms, I realize that I cannot give him the best of me if l’m running on empty.

My professional life taught me the importance of being there for others, but now, I’ve learned how to be there for my little family. It’s not about giving less, but rather about giving differently—making time for the moments that matter.

Joy in the Present

Motherhood in my 40s carries its own rhythm. I’m more purposeful about how I spend my time, savoring the small, everyday moments that might have passed by unnoticed before. Just yesterday, as we played on the floor together, my baby stopped whatever it was he was doing and was simply smiling at me. These are the pieces of life I cherish now.

Success used to be measured by all of my work; now, it’s in the warmth and depth of these experiences. Motherhood hasn’t been a shift away from who I was, it’s an expansion—adding another layer of meaning to an already full life.